Don't take things for granted.

I'm feeling so sick. I wanna cry my hearts out. I hate this feeling so fcuk much. I feel so troubled inside and I feel insecure in some ways. I feel that i'm sharing you now and i don't like it. As much as i don't wanna be jealous or think bout it, naturally, I totally just work the opposite way. You may think just how i reacts or feel just sounds irrelevant or just a plain silly jealousy but this is just how i feel right now. Even though you tried to assured me that your love will never change and whatsoever, it still doesn't comfort me enough. You will never understand how insecure i am, coz I never left you before. Trust me, I don't want history to repeats itself. I 'm tired of pretending that everything is alright and says it's okay and i'm fine with it and puts a fake smile and assure myself that I am okay.^^ Sometimes, i just hate the fact that you are too friendly. You treat girls so good that they are just liking or just falling for you. You may think you don't mean it that way, but the fact is, they like or just falling for you. I am a girl and i know how girls feel when a guy treats them so good and they will have the wrong idea. Honestly, I dun mind you being friends and who am I to stop you from having friends?..even i do have guy friends. But, how should i put it, hmm.. you are too kind and friendly in a way, it's just hard to explain. I don't doubt you but i'm afraid of losing you again. I never mentioned or bring up this to you because i dun wanna make things worse. But now, I wanna let it go coz my heart feel so heavy. Sometimes, I just wonder do u really mean it when u said that u won't break my heart anymore? Only god knows how i feel right now. I need you now but you aren't here for me. I'm thinking if i should take up fitri's offer to ..... aww.. If i do take her offer, will my absence means anything to you? xoxo, th[e]yebrowgirl.